Accepting the fact that you have herpes and are still the same person you were before will make it easier to have a fulfilling relationship.
The more emotionally charged an issue, the more important it is to find out the facts. Frequently, what knowledge they have is coloured by myth and misconception.
Most people find that their partners are both supportive and understanding.
It is a common assumption to initially think that a person may base their judgement of you on the fact you have genital herpes. People fear the possibility of rejection but the reality of this is that it rarely happens.
For most people, the anxiety over not telling your partner you have herpes is worse than the telling itself.
On the other hand, by telling your partner you have herpes and allowing them to enter into the relationship with full knowledge of your infection, you reduce the likelihood of them becoming infected with herpes.
It is true that in an intimate sexual relationship with a person who has herpes (oral or genital), the risk of contracting herpes will not be zero, but while there is a possibility of contracting herpes this is a possibility for any sexually active person.
It takes a lot more than the occasional aggravation of herpes to destroy a sound relationship. If your partner is unable to accept the facts about herpes, encourage him or her to speak with a medical expert or counsellor. They will respect the trust you demonstrate in sharing a personal confidence with them.Some of the less appropriate moments include the crowded bar or party scene, travel en route to a romantic weekend, or a talk when you’ve just finished having sex.Talking just prior to love-making is not a good idea either. This is not a confession or a lecture, simply the sharing of information between two people. ”Look for logical opportunities to bring up the subject.Others prefer a more open place, like walking in the park, so that their partner will feel free to go home afterwards to mull things over. If you are obviously upset, the person you’re speaking with might perceive the situation as being much worse than it is. You might even be surprised to learn that your partner has been equally concerned about telling you that they have genital herpes or another sexual infection.This allows both people to work off a little nervous energy at the same time. If you find yourself whispering, mumbling, or looking at the floor, stop for a moment and try to speak calmly and clearly. The first time I told someone I had genital herpes in the early stages of a relationship, he said: ‘ You want to know something... In fact, the probability of this is reasonably high, given the statistics on HSV.Having the correct information about herpes not only makes it easier for your partner, it makes it easier for you.Your attitude will influence how this news is received.The discussion could take place anywhere you feel safe and comfortable. Avoid negative words and keep the dialogue simple and factual: “I found out two years ago that I have herpes. This way it seems more natural, there’s no time to get nervous, and you’re not making it into a bigger deal than it is.Some people turn off the TV, take the phone off the hook, and broach the subject over a quiet dinner at home. With more and more singles talking about ‘safe sex’ and HIV/AIDS, these opportunities come up fairly frequently.It’s probably better to wait until you know and trust each other.There are good and bad times to bring up the topic of herpes.