Still the message is to not feel what you are feeling.
Some believe that invalidation is a major contributor to emotional disorders.But well-intentioned people may be uncomfortable with intense emotions or believe that they are helping when they are actually invalidating. The truth is that validation is not self-acceptance, it is only an acknowledgement that an internal experience occurred.In terms of self-invalidation, many emotionally sensitive people would agree they invalidate themselves, but would argue that they deserve it. Verbal Invalidation There are many different reasons and ways that people who care about you invalidate you. Misinterpreting What It Means to Be Close: Sometimes people think that knowing just how someone else feels without having to ask means they are emotionally close to that person.Saying “No problem, of course I can do that,” when you are overwhelmed, is hoovering.Judging: “You are so overreacting,” and “That is a ridiculous thought,” are examples of invalidation by judging. Fw-300 #ya-qn-sort h2 /* Breadcrumb */ #ya-question-breadcrumb #ya-question-breadcrumb i #ya-question-breadcrumb a #bc .ya-q-full-text, .ya-q-text #ya-question-detail h1 html[lang="zh-Hant-TW"] .ya-q-full-text, html[lang="zh-Hant-TW"] .ya-q-text, html[lang="zh-Hant-HK"] .ya-q-full-text, html[lang="zh-Hant-HK"] .ya-q-text html[lang="zh-Hant-TW"] #ya-question-detail h1, html[lang="zh-Hant-HK"] #ya-question-detail h1 #Stencil . Bdend-1g /* Trending Now */ /* Center Rail */ #ya-center-rail .profile-banner-default .ya-ba-title #Stencil . Bgc-lgr #ya-best-answer, #ya-qpage-msg, #ya-question-detail, li.ya-other-answer .tupwrap .comment-text /* Right Rail */ #Stencil . Bxsh-003-prpl #yai-q-answer, #ya-trending, #ya-related-questions h2. Fw-300 .qstn-title #ya-trending-questions-show-more, #ya-related-questions-show-more #ya-trending-questions-more, #ya-related-questions-more /* DMROS */ .Or they encourage you to make friends with someone who is influential when you don’t really enjoy the person, telling you that that person is a great friend when it’s not true. She’ll be a good friend to you.” There are also many different ways of invalidating. Blaming: “You always have to be the crybaby, always upset about something and ruin every holiday.” “Why didn’t you put gas in the car before you got home?You never think and always make everything harder.” Blaming is always invalidating.A person can state, “You think it’s wrong that you’re angry with your friend,” and not agree with you. But because they want to reassure you they invalidate by saying, “You shouldn’t think that way.” Wanting to Fix Your Feelings: “Come on, don’t be sad. ” People who love you don’t want you to hurt so sometimes they invalidate your thoughts and feelings in their efforts to get you to feel happier.Not Wanting to Hurt Your Feelings: Sometimes people lie to you in order to not hurt your feelings.