I would also hesitate asking a woman where she’s originally from in a first email. You seem like the kind of energetic, open person I might get along with.I get why he asks but some people are more sensitive about risks with online dating than others so I’d save it for a later email. I love staying busy, and I can usually have fun doing just about anything. Would you like to chat sometime…or since you like brunch so much, maybe meet in the city at somepoint?Still, as I was writing this I came up with my title and liked it a bit better…but either would work well in my opinion.Overall I thought the emails were fine but saw these as the biggest changes: I would shorten the emails. I see the first email as something short and simple to get her to look at my profile.I might include some of it in a later email but if it’s really important I would just add it to my profile.Likewise, I wouldn’t use the first email to describe your impression of whomever you’re contacting.The first thing that grabbed my attention about your profile was your username…I moved to Seattle from Texas a few months ago…I love it out here but I do miss home a lot. I really liked what I read about you and your interests.
Here is my reader’s first email to a girl who was originally from the same area as him Lonestar State What’s up?
I try and go to the city whenever I can…it just has a great atmosphere to be in.
I love exploring and getting lost and it seems like you are pretty similar in that regard.
I cover my approach writing first emails with online dating in my post First Contact Email Examples.
In that article I also give some examples of how I would write some first emails based on several random dating profiles.