In other words – is he any good at giving actual online dating advice? Suzie LECHTENBERG: PJ, do you feel like you want to read a few of the –… so we’re looking at my OKCupid profile, which I don’t know why this is as embarrassing as it is…but it’s got a few picture of me, which I’ve tried to make, like, pictures that are flattering, but not like too flattering. VOGT: Okay, so like it says the six things I could never do without. LECHTENBERG: And what do you spend a lot of your time thinking about? It’s Barthes Simpson, but it’s Barthes spelled like Roland Barthes, like the theorist. LECHTENBERG: So spell it, spell the whole name out for us. OYER: As an economist I can’t help but think we have to start with your objective function. So I don’t know if you realize this, but you’re in a great position. We have an oversupply of men relative to women, at least compared to other cities. So you’re in a good position from a competitive point of view.
For instance: how do you build the best profile ever? And then just like, it’s a series of prompts, and basically what I’m realizing now looking at it is in every case I’ve tried to brag and then quickly tell a joke so it doesn’t look like I’m bragging that much. VOGT: Okay, so it says what are you doing with your life? And this is true, but it all ends up sounding up like weird bragging. VOGT: It could be that I was really into torrential rain. VOGT: One of the prompts is “I Spend A Lot of Time Thinking About.” And I say that I spend a lot of time worrying about people I know seeing me on here, which is ironic because we’re on the radio right now. VOGT: Yeah, I feel like I’m not a person who feels a ton of shame, and I feel just rivers of shame right now. New York City is demographically more female than male. You’re providing a good, single, straight male, which is in relatively high demand.
[MUSIC: Two Dark Birds, “Run For Daylight”] DUBNER: Okay, so Paul Oyer knows a good bit about the rules of attraction in online dating – which, if you think about it, is just dating with a much bigger pool and a much better filter. He lives in New York, and he’s a producer at the public-radio show “On The Media,” and he co-hosts a podcast called “TLDR.” And PJ is a brave, brave soul – because he let us open up his Ok Cupid profile and pick it apart, on the radio: OYER: Have you been told before that you look like Ryan from The Office? I’ve been told I look like Andy from the office, which I take as a dig… VOGT: Yeah, option value sounds like a good way to put it.
So here’s the question: does all of Oyer’s knowledge translate into actual wisdom? DUBNER: Vogt and Oyer sat down with Suzie Lechtenberg, a producer on our show. [MUSIC: Christopher Norman, “Word of Prey” (from EP3)] DUBNER: Now, as Paul Oyer sees it, the most important first step in online dating is to know exactly what you’re trying to get out of it. OYER: Okay, so as I look at what you’ve got here, well, before we even look at it we have to stop and think about the first thing an economist is going to do is think about supply and demand. tend to swing much more towards more available women.
Women who make more don’t get a lot of extra attention.Childhood experiences, both positive and negative, have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, and lifelong health and opportunity.As such, early experiences are an important public health issue.The other thing is looks matter a lot, but it turns out that weight doesn’t matter that much independent of looks.So an overweight person who is otherwise medium attractive will do almost as well as a medium attractive person who is not overweight. And what about men’s preferences versus women’s preferences?Well, he recently re-entered the dating world himself, after a 20-year absence, and when he signed up for some online dating sites, he found that the dating market very much resembled the labor markets he’s used to studying.And, more important, he realized, dating could be much improved if only everybody approached it like an economist would. OYER: Now, more education, it turns out, doesn’t have much of a direct effect. I had the profile up for two or three weeks, and she got close to 1000 men message her.Paul OYER: When men are deciding who to contact on dating sites, looks matter a great deal. Women are in general a little bit more attracted to lawyers, doctors, men in the military and firefighters, which I’d always heard was a stereotype, but apparently it turns out to be at least a little bit true.And that’s more true when you’re my age, I’m 50 now, than when you’re your age, which is 28. So by putting yourself on this website, you’re going to have lots of choice, and a lot of people are going to have the opportunity to see you and consider you as an option. VOGT: Can I ask you a question…Or I can save it if it’s like a derailing question. VOGT: So my friends and I talk about this all the time.My female friends and my male friends all feel that this is true, like that men in New York and in cities where my friends live, everyone can actually feel these market forces and we talk about them. And I often imagine that I wish that I were from…I always think of the suburb that I’m from where most of the people are not like me like cultural attitudes or whatever.